Why My Community Needs Positive Images.

Written By: Tamara L. Floyd

Join Lamar and Ronnie Tyler, Directors and Producers of You Save Me, at this community event hosted in Houston, TX at the Fountain of Praise (South Post Oak Campus) on July 30, 2010. See information below.


Why My Community Needs Positive Images

I decided to make this piece personal because it’s very dear to my heart. I understand that it is a rarity to be reared in a two parent home in this day and time, but I’m very humbled to say that I was. My parents, Anthony and Gwendolyn Roy, have been married for 27 years in September. I cannot begin to express what a gift this is for me as a young, successful African American woman. I had the opportunity to grow up in a home with the “Huxtable” nuclear family system. I can say I have lived the true American dream, and for this reason I am more than optimistic about the state of African American families. I credit my parents with providing me the tools to succeed in my own marriage of almost five years. I grew up with role models of a healthy marriage. Again I’m fully aware this is untrue for many.

Statistically, African Americans are not getting married and if they are marrying they certainly are not staying that way. We’ve all seen the stories on primetime news. These stories that ponder “Why Successful Black Women Cannot Get a Man” are more than disheartening. Our community needs and desires positive images that counter many peoples’ reality as well as the negativity in today’s media. Couple Lamar and Ronnie Tyler of Tyler New Media have answered the call.

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are Essence.com bloggers and co-creators of the largest independent site on the web that specifically deals with marriage and parenting in the black community, called Black and Married With Kids.com(BMWK). Their first film, Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, is an Amazon.com bestselling documentary set to challenge negative stereotypes surrounding marriage and parenting in the black community.

Their second film, You Saved Me, highlights the beauty of African American marriages in a time where marriage numbers are at an all time low and African American divorce numbers are conversely at an all time high. Hope of positive, lasting, relationships look bleak until now. This film gives real couples an opportunity to explain how their marriages had a direct impact on their lives, featuring candid and transparent looks inside the hardships, trials, and ultimate success stories of these amazing couples. YOU SAVED ME offers an unprecedented look inside real relationships and what is required to sustain them. Houston.

Event Information


© 2010, Tamara L. Floyd. All rights reserved. Contact tamara@tamarafloyd.com for permissions to use/reprint any content.

My Marriage Was Arranged

Prayer 001 I have an arranged marriage… I know it sounds crazy but recently I realized I have an arranged marriage. And to be perfectly honest with you; I’m REAL cool with that. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Let me tell you why. I believe it all started when my husband told “I feel like your reintroducing yourself to me everyday”. Again this sounds crazy but truly my walk with God is an ever changing one. Not because God himself is changing in my life. No…because God is the only consistent thing in my life but daily I am being transformed by the renewing of my mind in Christ. Daily I am learning something new about myself and submitting my whole heart to be perfected in Jesus. I’m really not trying to toot my own horn because if this furnace process along with my marriage has not taught me anything it has taught me that God’s grace is sufficient in my inadequacies. *Praise Break* Daily I am submitting my mind, my heart/emotions and soul to my heavenly Father. I’m only glad that someone on the outside looking in can see that. On another note, I’m so blessed to have a husband that can see me and discern the great work of God in me. *Praise Break*

Back to my original point, my marriage was arranged. I’m so glad too! There is no way that I, myself could have ever chosen a life partner six years ago. My husband and I met when I was 18 and married when I was 20 and he 23. Can you imagine the shenanigans I was getting into prior to my marriage? What about the shenanigans you were getting into at the age of twenty? This year my husband and I will be married for five years. Nobody but God! God has exhibited his character of unconditional love and again I say grace through my husband. I’m not the best wife by any means but I’m loved flaws and all. He joins me on everyone of my emotional roller coasters. During the time we were dating I knew he was the one for me at that present time but never did I consider the future. No living thing remains the same. Through living and growing together we have trusted God with our covenant and giving him permission to bless it. God knew where I was then and saw me in the future & blessed my husband with a special anointing to partner with me in journeying to our joint and individual purposes. There were times because of fear or my own self-ambition that I have tried to forfeit this blessing of God, my marriage, prior to the ceremony and after the ceremony but the God in him fought for the union. We as an united force have stood firmly on what is considered a more tangible gift from God at various times to rebuke the powers that come to steal, kill and destroy. But there were times that we succumb to our own wills versus the will of the Father but thankfully God is merciful and has given His children the ministry of reconciliation.

My marriage was arranged by my Father in heaven who knew me and what I needed not only at the time of my husband’s & my first meeting but presently and I have faith that God will continue to meet my triune needs in the future through my marriage.

Romans 12:2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

2 Corinthians 12:9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

2Corinthians 5:18 Now all things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation,

© 2010, Tamara L. Floyd. All rights reserved. Contact tamara@tamarafloyd.com for permissions to use/reprint any content.